Not so funny

We frequently come across jokes, posts, articles, incidents (at meetups, parties, etc.) on women. I read quite a few posts, where people have actually written with concern. Have just clubbed them, added my views and here it follows.

We often hear jokes about women, girlfriends and wives (more often the last two) shared in the workplace. The punch line is usually something to the effect of "Women shop, men pay" or "Women have fun, men work" or "Girlfriends = Time x Money" and so on. It's usually dismissed as a joke and a woman who objects of finds it offensive and is considered to not have a sense of humor or of being too serious a person because after all, it's "just a joke".

I've also noticed so many jokes being passed around via SMS, Whatsapp etc. targeting women and funnily most woman except it. They feel that if they voice out their dissent, it would seem like they don't have a sense of humor. So the message that gets passed around is that females are "weak, dumb, and frivolous" and I'm not surprised with what is happening around us in society today.

Consider this however. Would we share a joke demeaning a person of a certain ethnicity (in front of them)? We have learnt, thankfully, that it's not right to make fun of people just because of their genetic makeup or place of origin. Yet when a sexist joke is made, most people seem to think it's the women who need to be less offended! Some of which I've heard over the last few weeks (paraphrased).

• Men die earlier than women because men pay the shopping bills


• Marriage is like a hurricane - both natural disasters waiting to happen


• Marriage is a workshop because men work and women shop.

Yeah, I have also observed that women jokes are universal - even in cartoons. Many women laugh along when such jokes are cracked (not sure why).

As a female, I find these jokes offensive. I work as hard as my male colleagues to earn. Homemakers give up their own careers to take care of their families and make their husband and kids to focus on their own lives. Marriage is meant to be an equal partnership not a punishment for men. I have a unique and quirky sense of humor myself (euphemistic terms for geeky/ cheesy) and I'm as interested as the next person in a good joke. But sexist jokes in a professional setting unsettle me for many reasons:

• They demean half the human population in one go (men or women)


• They promote insensitivity towards women (why are you offended? it's just a joke!)


• Often passive aggressiveness is masked as a joke (Someone once said to me, "Oh, we all know women only work so that they can go shopping. That's their real job. Lol")


• They provoke retaliatory comments which leads to more ugliness

In my opinion, sexist jokes are like the proverbial broken windows. They're easy to stop and correct and they set the tone for a culture.

My post is about jokes on women here because I feel they're more common. Obviously I might be wrong. And yes, I do agree this many a times happens with men also. Men might laugh at it but they would be living in embarrassment inside. Well, it's when one's wife cracks jokes about the in-laws. There are occasions when, wives have an indulgence in such jokes making fun of their in-laws’ families, sisters do that to the brothers-in-law, and so on. Most of the time, the jokes are hilarious to listen and an embarrassment to admit!

It will be great if men can come forward and acknowledge that their wives-sisters-mothers are equally supporting to run the family and that they are independent. That kind of honesty will go a long way to bring about a change in mindset. People who compose such jokes on women must realize that their mother-sisters-wives are women too!